In Omnia Paratus

some pics from the 21st shindig

2007-03-06T21:51:00.000+11:00

S'Wonderful

2007-02-10T20:16:00.000+11:00

The old chipper me is back:) and without a vengeance~ Guess I've finally come to that stage where that wound has healed and I can just feel that this year will be a big hit for me. With much hard work, I believe I can rightly call myself a accounting/law graduate by the end of this year! Although so much shit has happened in the past two years, I believe this year is going to change. I've worked on the other relationships I've neglected in my life with God, close friends, family and last but not least Samson. Lots of time and effort have gone into enriching these relationships because they just soo soo important to all of us. With more love, care and support from all, we strengthen ourselves and increase our ability to brave everything that comes our way!

Already, 2007 has marked an important year for my best friend, Nicola. She finally got the chance to live out the dream we always talked about back in year 11 and 12. ANU law school~! And although I'll miss all our spontaneous coffee/movies/sleepover nights, not having her around would be the teensiest sacrifice to make for her to finally do what makes her happy. 2007 also rings the wedding bells for my old time friend, Mingdao and his future wife-to-be, Claire. This year also spells a change in career for me hopefully... I'm job hunting at the moment and filling out college applications for further studies in law or accounting and maybe even finance if the job hunt became nothing but a fruitless attempt. All in all, I like the sound of the year already:)

Last but not least, I turn 21 this year:( Jaclyn has to grow up and act more like an adult. That means less whinging and more constructive critisism? Who knows, we'll wait and see. Can't wait to see canberra! S'wonderful, s'marvelous!

Singles RSVP

2006-12-18T23:08:00.000+11:00

So, I've just tried out the RSVP website. Don't worry, I didn't intentionally go to the site, it came up as a pop up I swear! But if you ever get bored at home, these singles websites can be pretty funny sites to read. Like for example, I searched for males aged 20-25 and I had a 100 hits. I saw a few better looking men and I clicked to see their profile. Some of them actually sound pretty decent... So now i know if i hit 35 and i'm still single, this is where i'll be hanging out eh? So I came across 2 rather "colourful" characters. One somewhat reminded me of a hybrid of Harry and Wilson. Its very strange... and the other is just adorable. The adorable one said:

I promise I will lie when they ask how we met!! ;) What do I say here... In one word I'm "humuoroussensitivecharmingtalkativeactive", ok its not really a word but it beats "im easy going" arghhh :)

And the weird hybrid said:

Run away little girl....
"The typical cycle: Meet girl, go out a few times, have a wild time. Cool off. This is the MO in clubs and the internet personals is no different.

I am a product of the stimulation age. There is no past or future. Only the obvious present. When I am with you I am 100% there, and when we are apart I move on to something else. No agenda and very little planning.

We meet over drinks, hang out for a while downtown, and see how far the chemistry takes us. We might even have sweaty back-breaking sex after. Or we wait until another day. Or we never see each other again because the passion wasn't there. Whatever happens happens. Can you handle lack of certainty?

Almost all women ask me this. What was my longest relationship - answer, 1 year. Have I ever been in love? Once, many years ago. Doesn't count anymore.

Arguing with me won't help. Neither will trying to get to the bottom of this "crisis". I will simply smile, say "whatever", and change the subject.

I like people who are genuine and who don't take comfort in empty promises. There are no promises in this world, only words people say for the sake of the "in", and the fools who believe the lies.

You have to know what you want, and be mentally strong enough to accept your natural energy responses as a woman. I don't do fixer-uppers. At most I am friends with fixer-uppers, but I don't try to change them, or co-exist with them romantically.

For hobbies, I like clubs, drinks, movies, music and magic. I often wonder why it hasn't become mainstream. I guess it's just one of those things - that to get it, you have to get it.

If all this is up your alley, get in touch

He's that type of person you feel like strangling! URgh!

somewhere over the rainbow

2006-12-17T22:40:00.000+11:00

Needless to say, Christmas is near and I'm still feeling quite blue. Everything has been so messed up lately. My crying spells has decreased but the pain's still eating the heart and mind away. Many good things have come in small packages though. My new car has arrived, my mum's going away for the weekend, Nic's lending me her laguna beach dvd boxset, my manager's leaving the company and Johnny has given my VIP access to Hemmesphere, one of the hottest spots to be seen in on a Saturday night.

Was doing my christmas grocery shopping yesterday at Woolworths and I saw this asian guy going about his night filler duties. I did the most pathetic thing and I followed him with the corner of my eye. He reminded me so much of Harry. I was overcome with emotion and it felt like my eyes were welling up and my heart beat like 10 times faster. I suddenly really missed him. I thought back at the days where I'd used to finish my homework faster just so I could drive out to the supermarket to see him, stacking shelves while we took sneak peeks at each other pretending not to know each other, that he wasn't slacking off. I really do miss him from time to time. I wish none of this had happened. But it is and I'm finding it so hard to forget the man i thought i was going to spend at least a good half of my life with. I wish i had his strength, courage and determination to move on so quickly. I wish that when i said that i loved him he'd believe me. I wish he knew how much I cared about him and how I never stopped thinking about him. Its all impossible now when i know that he only rolls his eyes at such thought. If only he changed his mind about me, would it make everything better? Would I be able to bring myself to forgive him? What's more, would i be able to live with myself for being so weak and silly? How many roads must a poor boy take before he can be called a man?

Shakespeare Prodigy

2006-11-25T09:18:00.000+11:00

By God! I'd say he's finally got it! Ian has the gift of writing absolutely marvelous poetry that I could only dream of having. Its a pity he hasn't a girlfriend. He writes so good. He can easily sweep girls off their feet with that kind of stuff. Amazing... just pure amazing. Here's a sample of what he can do.

The op’ning of her eyes doth herald the morning break,
Forth to flood the world with warmth anew.
Yet such warmth shall ne’er compare that from her!
A Tenderness beyond breath or touch,
But felt through the gazing of eyes to eyes,
And a kindling of ever-twined souls.

Dawn’s garden song proves sweeter than the day ‘fore,
Yet pales in compare to the song that my Love sings.
Not with voice alone or solitarily her melody doth she make,
But all creation shall in united chorus rejoice with her,
And make such angelic sound that all the world shall hear,
And know the beauty that rivals the morning – She.

And having stirred from Edenic slumber,
The ground she graces with gracious steps
Where roses with tulips bid homage their diety!
For who shall compare to Beauty Incarnate, Aphrodite?
Resplendent her glow, the True Sun of the Earth,
And all creation basks in the sunlight of her beauty!

About her work she labours on, tending flo’er and tree,
With supple affectionate hands.
And there amidst her garden stands
The beauteous Gardener - She
Yet for all the splendor of creation, ne’er would I miss,
One moment of her beholding, one moment of this bliss.

And should this be denied me,
Then come forth and take mine eyes,
For what more shall they hope behold,
Than the beauty that in her doth lie!

Love it love it love it! Ah I wish I had his talent.

a gift

2006-11-08T20:40:00.000+11:00

the pieces that once used to fit so perfectly.

Behind every dark cloud, there's a silver lining

2006-11-05T10:39:00.000+11:00

Fuck it. I've moped, sobbed, dwelled and cracked all the sick jokes I possibly could with my predicament. It's this time I've finally surrendered to the stronger and taller Jackie within me to end all my ridiculous and incessant whining as to why Harry chose to leave. Why did I dwell upon such negativity? Could it really be like what Harry said about me being too upset and too pissed off to really understand where he's coming from? Perhaps so but the epitome of such obnoxious behavior from me must really stem from my denial of a lost of a best friend. One I held so closely to my heart and vowed never to lose. I've failed him and I've failed myself but who's really to blame in the face of all these? I can no longer try to comprehend for my heart's been weary and my mind encumbered with trivial and frivolous memories of what he used to be and his words of love and wisdom. What seemed to be the very foundation of our past relationship has been shaken, or worse could have been non-existent all along. Were we mislead? Were we foolish enough to believe that a future beholds and awaits us? Time waits for no one as they all say. I've finally had my first hand experience. I have no power to relive the past. Time has marched on past me and I missed it all. I missed all the crucial hints and signs that screamed at me to move and march on with it. But alas, friends and family have kicked me in the butt to wake me up. I really cannot handle breakups well, and I haven't the strength to befriend the person that has chosen the reality I onced feared so greatly. I'm not ready to deal with him and his harshness just yet, so why pretend I can? Should I even subject myself to such vulnerability? Shouldn't I rise above all that's happening and embrace the chance to be the person my parents and my Father had brought me up to be? Surely, dad hasn't spent more than a fortune and time on my private education for me to be bullied and trampled by this. I was raised to be stronger than that, am I not? For in the face of adversity, didn't the Father say that no one will be able to stand up against me for all the days of my life? I am not alone for as He was with Moses, so will He be with me, never to leave, never to forsake me. So I shall be strong and courageous for life is a battlefield, I can either enter it equipped and prepared or surrender to it unarmed. Friends and family, be rest assured I will make the right choice and decisions not to be foolish anymore. I will pick myself up, dust myself off and in turn start all over again for behind every dark cloud, there's a silver lining. I have faith and hope that things will pick up from here. I will open my eye to see all that's wonderful once again.

the meek never wins

2006-11-01T20:10:00.000+11:00

Words can't describe how much I miss him. Tears well up whenever I think about him. He is still the most special person to me. Over the past past, not only did i acquire a boyfriend, I also acquired a new best friend. He is someone I hold still in such high regard, someone I knew that would always be there for me. Even though such a marvelous thing of beauty in the end, he still will be my friend. Or so he says. After countless of explanations of why this had to happen, I'm still not able to come to terms with it. How did we screw up? How did we let this happen? And why couldn't we work it out? I'm still baffled. Perhaps my naivety has once proven itself, my mental capacity will not allow such comprehension at the level of his. I'm really hoping that we could at least stay at friends. Some may think its a good idea trying to keep the peace while some just believe it to be downright silly of me. I'm just going in between. I'm still foolishly in love with him and I don't know how I could let go. I've prayed hard day and night that somehow he'll come through. Isn't it how it always end in movies? Like a fairytale... my prince will wake up to his senses, stop thinking logically and go with the flow and come find me again. I wish I had the answer to his heart. I wish soo much that I can turn back time and not say all the stupid selfish hurtful things I've said to him in the past. Maybe he wouldn't have been so adamant about our different views on life now. For isn't it true that no two people in love can be exactly alike. I really really loved that part of my life with him and its just so hard to accept things the way they are now. How is it that we could have a decent conversation when we're no longer a couple anymore? Why let the status of a "serious relationship" stop us from being together? Is it really that hard to agree to disagree? This morning, after my major morning panic breakdown, I really wanted to hire someone to beat the brains out of him. How could someone like Harry hurt me so much? Why did he not want me to get out of my comfort, yet at the same time stop me from pursuing what I really want. And what I really want is to be with him. I don't know what the future would bring for us but I seriously hope that he might one day regret his decision. It's a long shot and once he's decided on something it's almost set in concrete. But if he really loves me and cares for what I want, I wish he'd act on his feelings for me and not let me go especially when i don't want to. Not now and not ever. At least in the near future. I know he probably won't read this and I'm hoping he doesn't anytime soon. But I really had to get this out. I miss the feeling of having him around, his hugs and kisses and reassurance from him that I'll always be a cute pigeon to him even when I'm 40. No guy has ever said that to me. God I don't even want to imagine what I'll be like when I hit 35. But should a shooting star appear in the sky, my only wish is for that slightest glimmer of hope that he'll change his mind and not waste any opporunity to come back. We may have a whole heap of differences, but we really did make each other the happiest people in the world. All relationships go through bumpy roads, may this be one of the only big bumps we face. I want to be friends with him, but I would love it even more if we could just start over and do things differently. No more sweeping problems under the rugs, overcoming my timidness and breaking down that wall around me. I always pictured a loving couple in my head, all lovey dovey and affectionate, but my thought never translate them into action. My timidness has once again let me down. If only he knew how much I really loved him and how my mind works in the most naive and childish way. Afterall, he called me his lil girl amongst other things. I quote: "hippo, pigeon, jacelyn, jacey, pige... over the span of 100 days, I have had the pleasure of calling you the names listed above. I hope I get to call you these names forever and ever." As 14 year old as it may sound, Iit truly was the best letter I've ever received. No one will ever treat me the way he did, perhaps his upbringing was the cause of this. His display of affection was second to none. As hard as it say for me to say this, I wish his next girlfriend will appreciate him and love him more than I did. He really does deserve it. I really do want him to be happier. If wishing and praying was all I needed to be her, I'd be willing to do it for a very long time. He may not think he's worth all that but since everyone has different opinions and choices. He is what I love and chose to be with. He is my pillar of strength beside my God almighty and nothing could ever replace him.

If only...

so much to say, no one to say it to

2006-10-29T20:37:00.000+11:00

I hate this time of year... everyone's so uber busy studying and no one seems to be online. Its so quiet that you'd think everyone had just disappeared from the face of the earth! But i guess its good for me... less distractions and more time to tax and company law:( Ok maybe things aren't quite looking up as they should but come 20th November... I'll be able to rule the world again! I have nic, my fabulous shopping buddy that never ceases to give me constructive fashion critisism. I have Samson to take with me for walks to lose off all that extra weight I've put on from all my unnaturally excessive amounts of snacks i've consumed during this study period. And I can finally break out and adorn my beeeoootifuulll darling christmas tree while singing off key to Billie Holiday's christmas carols. I love Christmas. It's that time of year where I think to myself, my life this year wasn't so bad afterall. You know that feeling where all your worries just melt away as you decorate your tree? Anyways, i think as bad as my life may seem right now.. i just wish all these would be over by christmas. May no one ever spoil my favourite time of year:)

An ode to B~

2006-09-20T21:39:00.000+10:00

One of the best poems I stumbled on which encapsulates everything i feel for b~

Butterflies

Stumbling over words to express how I feel,
My pen takes over as my emotions replace the ink
That has slowly begun to fill this page

Boldly seizing my voice,
It verbalizes how your kisses mesmerize me,
How I thrive on your caresses,
How I love looking in your eyes,
And how I can't seem to let go.
Symbolizing my fantasies and dreams,
It writes to you of my intentions.
How you are the first one
Who I've found myself willing to learn and grow with.
Of my plans to not only be a part of your present
But to be essential in your future.

Invading my heart it reveals my inners secrets,
My greatest hopes, and my biggest fears.
It speaks to you of the walls
That with time I have let envelop my heart,
And how with you I have seen them slowly crumbling,
Because this feeling I feel is stronger
Than the walls that have taken me so long to build.
It conveys to you my fears of getting hurt
As well as the fact that I don't care anymore
Because my heart has taken over,
And that is what I choose to follow.

Representing my thoughts,
This pen listens and rejoices
As it tells you something that I've never felt before,
But that is so strong
That it cannot be mistaken for anything else.
I love you.
My voice says it,
My dreams see it,
And my heart feels it.

Stumbling over words to express how I feel,
My pen takes over as my emotions replace the ink,
That has slowly begun to fill this page.

Don't think twice, It's alright.

2006-08-12T14:06:00.000+10:00

I've dropped my law degree. Period. Its been finalised. Jaclyn is no longer an admitted law student. There goes my wonderful title of LLB behind the name which I once aspired to have on my name card as I gave them out to all the people at social functions shamelessly flaunting my "wit" and "astucity". Not that I ever had them in the first place, but I thought the title might have earned me a few "oohs and ahhs". No longer will I have that privilege. Ah well, I shall be content with my straight business degree...

The future has been looking a tad brighter, now that the dark clouds in my life have passed. The light and warmth of the sun can finally shine through and down on little jackie! I've got bigger and newer plans for my life! Not sure what they are exactly, but i can tell they're gonna be great! I'm gonna kick off my shoes and run free into the sea of opportunities! Wish me luck guys in finding out what awaits me.

A Public Affair

2006-07-29T10:50:00.000+10:00

Needless to say, I'm bummed about the holidays. I've been working everyday since it starts and now it's coming to an end. Uni kicks in next monday and I kinda am looking forward to it, only because I wouldn't have any more customers to deal with for a good 3 days of the week. As most of you would know, I'm trying to drop my law degree and am desperate for ideas as to how i may do so. I've exhausted all my options but one and that is to speak with my uni registrar. I pray soo hard that he may be able to assist me in this matter. I'm mentally drained and I'm getting blisters on my hand from filling in customers' deposit and withdrawal slips all day. I can't understand why they don't do it themselves. Its not rocket science... You know your name, you know how much you want to take out or put into your account. I could fill out your customer number for you but that's just as far as i should go. Darn customers who wish they were illiterate! Couldn't they be more considerate and give our hand a break. We're counting the money for you and keying the amount in the system already... and you still expect quick customer service? Argh!!!!!

It's my last saturday before uni starts and i really wanted to stay home today to sulk and pack my room. But no.... i have to take my mum grocery shopping and pick my dad later from the mechanic. SOb! Where's my weekend off? Mum beckons and i'm off now...

A Hard Rain has Fallen

2006-06-21T09:06:00.000+10:00

These 2 weeks have been perhaps the most treacherous weeks of my life thus far. I've sat through 3 pretty tough exams, all of which i'm hoping to pass at least. I've gone through a financial crisis and now I consider myself really broke for the next few years no matter how much money I try to earn. So there goes my trip back to that sunny lil island i so fondly call home. And there goes all my other materialistic wants and wishes. I'm back to window shopping and catalog browsing once again:( This is pretty depressing. I'm starting to envy all my friends who are able to take big vacations over the summer and winter breaks. I've got this friend who went to singapore, hongkong, england, monte carlos and rome for her spring break. And I couldn't help but be envious of her fortune. I guess I've just realised the power of the dollar and the true meaning of opportunity costs which i've learnt over and over again in economics and finance. Noughs been said, didn't really want to delve into the finer details. Perhaps it'll fade away with time and becomes a smaller problem with each passing semester.

I pray God gives me the strength to stay strong and pull through this, to overcome each and every obstacle that comes my way with great finesse, and hopefully develop a greater faith in Him that He'll lift and carry my burdens away.

all the pretty pretties

2006-06-09T19:31:00.000+10:00

I'm just waiting for harry to pick me up. We're going to watch the breakup with Jen Aniston and Vince Vaughn. Looks like a funny movie. I just hope tickets are still available!!!

Anyways, i stumbled upon thus site. It's similar to rosesonly.com.au. LOVE that site, but now there's another called candy flowers at

http://www.candyflowers.com.au/home.php

Here are other similar sites

http://www.interflora.com.au/default.asp?EID=A0101

It's a pretty good place to go to if you want drop a bouquet of candies to your loved one... ooh.. candy~ its really pretty too! It's close to 7.30pm time to leave~ ardios!

just around the corner

2006-06-04T21:40:00.000+10:00

exams are looming and bank rates are daunting... haiz what else can i do but sigh at the dreadful future ahead of me.. well at least for the next 3 to 4 weeks. It seems like I've caught this sickness - accounting nausea. Accounting isn't easy. How the hell did i talk myself into thinking its a manageable subject? Sometimes i overestimate myself. Just like the time I thought quantum physics was going to be a walk in the park after the first week of reading it. I judge things way too fast for my own good at times.

is it just me or has anyone else noticed george w bush's bad posture? In almost every picture i see of him, he's always standing on a slant. Kinda like the leaning tower of Pisa. Its rather amusing. Sigh you know when a person has been procrastinating too much when he/she notices the most trivial and ridiculous things. I feel like having chocolate mousse cake from olio dome in singapore... sob. Right now the closest thing that comes to it is the chocolate mousse cake in the rocks and even that's too far to reach from where i am now. *wails oh woe is me...* anyways back to stats! that'll really curb my insane sweet cravings... not.

tis the season to be hongkie

2006-05-19T20:56:00.000+10:00

so here's a toast to my new job, my wonderful new b of nearly 2 months and a whole lotta canto training!

I guess the saying's true, you never really know where life takes you till you ride along with it. It can be pretty exciting not knowing where it leads. It seems like no matter how much i plan life never take, it never follows THE itinerary. I still end up where i wanted. I never got the grades i wanted but yet got into the course i intended. I never got the boyfriend i wanted. I found someone better than i had expected to be with. Took a huge detour but i still found him. I always wanted a job with a bank. I had applied for HSBC earlier before saba took me in. And look what happened, i'm at HSBC today:)

Tis the season to be jolly, my life is filled in hongkie flavour. I've got a hongkie boy, a job with a hongkie/london and i'm dying to subscribe to TVBJ. God knows whyyy, i'm sick of Big brother. No matter how cute mikey is, i'm bored with TV now. I've resorted to making my own programs. I download all my favourite tv dramas and i watch them when i'm free. Ahh, life is soo much better with Gilmore girls all day everyday:) hehe.

prayer points before i sign off:
- pass management accounting
- count money faster
- memory skills
- better health
- better skin

Till there was Him

2006-05-18T21:06:00.000+10:00

He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me... he loves me not. (last petal) He does love me! I never really knew a guy could like me that much till i met a boy by the name of Harry - yes that's you... I didn't think i'd meet anyone that soon... let alone trust them with my heart again till i met him. I guess my time with the last one isn't something to be mentioned ever again. So i'll leave it as that. Harry finally mustered all his courage to tell me last night his true feelings for me. I reciprocated with a good response. I love him to bits too. I guess i've finally founnd my prince charming...a guy who wants to hug/spoil/adore/cherish/protect/love me for who i am:) A song i've been singing to myself today was "better together" by jack johnson... here's to you b. I love you too~

There is no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard
And no song that I could sing, but I can try for your heart
Our dreams, and they are made out of real things
Like a shoebox of photographs with sepia tone loving

Love is the answer
At least for most of the questions in my heart
Why are we here and where do we go
And how come it's so hard
It's not always easy and sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing
It's always better when we're together

Mmm, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, we'll look at the stars when we're together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together

And all of these moments just might find a way into my dreams tonight
But I know that they'll be gone when the morning light sings
Or brings new things for tomorrow night you see
That they'll be gone too, too many things I have to do
But if all of these dreams might find their way into my day to day scene
I'd be under the impression I was somewhere in between
With only two, just me and you, not so many things we got to do
Or places we got to be, we'll sit beneath the mango tree now

Yeah, it's always better when we're together
Mmm, we're somewhere in between together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together (mmm)

I believe in memories, they look so, so pretty when I sleep
And when I wake up, you look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time
And there is no, no song I could sing
And there is no combination of words I could say
But I will still tell you one thing
We're better together

*hugs*

we're all going on a summer holiday~~

2006-04-21T21:26:00.000+10:00

hello friends~ i am back! jackie's on the blogging scene again. Got back from my easter break a few days ago. Spent a good three days at the Entrance. The beach was beautiful, the sun was bright and the sand was fine... ah well let's just say it had everything you wanted in a beach. Thanks to my ginvera whitening lotion, i would have come back looking like a roast chicken like Harry... lol sorry babe, but your tan was too well done. (But not to worry, i like you just as much!) I feel really uninspired these days... can't seem to blog a proper entry for some reason.. maybe my brain's worked overtime. You know for once i wished i was just doing a straight law degree.. I HATE MATHS I HATE MATHS... yeah just wanted to get that out of my system. All these maths formulas i deal with in finance and statistics is taking its toll on me. I wish soo badly that this semester would just fly past me with the snap of my fingers. Anyhoos.. i'm just going to post some pics up and then get on with my studies...

For Once In My Life

2006-03-25T22:45:00.000+11:00

Yes, for once in my life, I've found someone who truly makes me smile, smile till my face aches and if that's not enough, makes my heart smile too... If I could personify my heart even further, it'd be singing its lil lungs out for joy~ Don't ask me how i personified the heart by giving it its very own lungs... can you imagine a heart with lungs? Lol what was jackie thinking?(slaps the back of her head) Anyhooos... aunt suzenna is coming! On monday at 7.15am... oh gosh, i don't even know which hour to wake up at, every hour before 7 sounds indecent already. Harry's agreed to help pick her up with me, poor dude has to stay up till 9 for his commercial law class. Ok, as hot and cool as his class may sound, it is the direct opposite. His lecturer doesn't make much sense and is absolutely clueless to the syllabus. I really don't know how Harry sits through each class, but for that, he has earnt my admiration:) *hugs b*

Jeremy had a torts law question for me today, and i was kinda excited and honoured by the fact that he even thought of coming to me for help. I was flattered. It was a negligent misstatement question, Guess you really never know how much you've learnt in class till someone asks you for your help. Hmm... i hope i was of some help to jem. Can't exactly remember the caparo 3 stage duty test or the hedley byrne case in detail except that those weren't my favourite cases. Haha~

material girl~

2006-03-21T18:51:00.000+11:00

I was reading one girl's blog and she was saying that all she wants is like. a nice boyfriend and his heart and love and blahblahblah. and then i thought to myself. haha bloody bullshit that's never enough. almost anyone who says they don't need gifts/material stuff is just a lying punk because okay fine. because i really can't live that way, as much as i sometimes wish i could. i bet a billiongazillion bucks i'd be much happier if lv bags & all the pretty things around me didn't matter so much to me, if settling down with someone financially stable isn't such a big deal to me... if the big house/comfy apartment in a prime location, a beautiful job, kids and a pretty decent car isn't what i truly want. if throwing nice parties and having nice parties to go for isn't the life i would like to continue living isn't such a necessity to me. but truth is, everything material means a hell lot to me, somehow or other... no matter which angle i look at it from. i'm not saying that people who aren't like superduperrich are not happy. far from it. i'm just saying that for myself, and from my point of view... with regards to the life that i want to lead in the future, and even now. these things do matter to me. grr. i dunoe why i'm ranting. = but it's really true. i'm not saying that i don't need love & concern from my significant other, whoever he might be in like 10 +++ years time. but that really superduper isn't enough for me, and i know it. maybe i'm only raving and ranting like this because it's the first few days of the terrible spell and i've been feeling nauseous the whole of yesterday, probably induced by the killer-cramps that have not ceased to torment me since the moment i hopped out of bed monday morning. But its gone now. i'm terrible cranky after uni and right now all i want to do is punch and kick somebody, throw a silly phone out of the window and proceed to feel all manic-depressive and then sit down and cry and think that nobody loves me. somehow, i think feeling neglected and all that stuff is my favourite feeling... maybe because i just love the luxury of wallowing in self-pity. well there is obviously something very wrong with me, but right now nothing is really going perfectly right... well, does it ever. as always, i wish i had more. more of everything, and every luxury the money could afford. BOO.

All of the happiness you seek
All of the joy for which you pray
Is closer than you think
It's just 100 tears away

a bugged day

2006-03-21T18:22:00.000+11:00

A lot of things bugged me today. I'll probably list them so it'd be easier to read. Wenkai once said my blog entries were too long winded. But I'm a lawyer student.. i guess i'm allowed to? LoL ok here goes:

1. I saw a girl make her boyfriend cry in blacktown outside a shopping centre. He was a big fijian and she was a petite one. God knows what she did to hurt him so. The fact that a big guy was sobbing and wiping his teary eyes with his t-shirt was rather disturbing.

2. I hate it when people have makeout sessions in the car. Yes, the couple in front of me made out as we stopped at the traffic lights. I was right behind them. Gosh, have the decency to at least move when the light changes... I gave them 3 seconds to move, they didn't so i horned at them. Lol it startled them and they drove off. Man, i get into a shitty mood when i'm in a hurry to get home after a long day at uni.

3. My sub tutor for accounting was probably the worst substitute i ever had. Not only was he dumb but he was arrogant too. He made it seem like he knew all the answers to the tutorial questions when he was too much of an lazy arse to discuss the questions. When he was finally asked to answer a question, he was stumped. His bloody indian accent didn't help too.

I think that's about it for now:) *sigh of relief* i love venting on my blog. At least you guys get to read about and how crap it was. It was freezing this morning when i got up. I hate chilly mornings and i hate 9am classes on a frosty bleak morning like today. I love rain, but like i said only when i'm staying home.

Well, something made my day a lot better at least. Harry came by to visit me~ Its always nice seeing him and being able to talk to him. But i think i'm getting to that stage that the more i see him the more impatient i get with him *ahem*. I think he knows what i mean. I know its meant to be special and all, ahh well, i guess i'll really have to force myself to be patient and still:) Patience, my dear watson.

another month older

2006-03-18T00:08:00.000+11:00

17th march saw me turn the big 2-0 and a month. Damn i feel bloody old again. It's offically Mia's 21st birthday and i could not be happier for her. I do believe she's a much nicer person now and i guess i have alex to thank for. He's changed her completely... still high maintenance but manageable. The four of us girls hung out just then at the Insomnia cafe at pennant hills. It was a quaint little cafe with a barrista that makes a pretty fandamntastic caramel latte! I didn't have to add any more sugar. It was perfect. Nic had to put in a packet- such a sweettooth that girl has. Alisha had a chocolate milkshake which was served in that stainless steel tall glass which seems cheap but looks pretty funky. Mia had peppermint tea, said she needed to watch her weight. I don't understand how their diet works and nic has raisin toasted smothered with butter and mia with her bruchetta at 11 in the evening. Mia brought the meaning of high maintenance customers to a whole new level. Within 5 mins, she changed her orders 7 times. First it was coffee and bruchetta, then peppermint tea and cheesecake, then coffee and cookie and tea and cheesecake, etc.. man that poor waiter had to make a few drafts for his order book. And on top of that, he was almost like a personal shrink, listening to mia's stories of her stalkers that she met at cargo bar. LOL, poor curry waiter indeed, but he appeared to be quite taken in my mia's beauty. Darn, its great to be pretty, all that unwanted attention.

Becoming more fashion forward

2006-03-15T15:13:00.000+11:00

My latest addition of Shopaholic Haven has already received one complaint from dear old wenkai:( Says i should put some men's fashion sites too. I'll try to find some cool sites. Note I have never actually surfed for menswear online. Wouldn't exactly label myself as a cross dresser you see. But i'll try my best to find something for the guys. But wenkai... abercrombie and fitch has menswear what... Never see is it? haha.

I would link my site to saba but it hasn't got an online catalog like sass and bide does. I think saba's only breaking even, not enough cash to include an online catalog.

Breaking news today, i called my manager up today to see if i had any more shifts to work this week and she tells me she's leaving the company next month. WTH!!! Just when i thought i had the best job and manager in the world, she leaves me... WHY??? As you can see i don't adapt to change very well. I want to stick with my shop and work at the same time work ethic. I wonder if the new manager would allow me to continue doing it. LOL. Anyhooos... i'm going to start reading more accounting.

Fresh Update for the fashion conscious

2006-03-13T19:38:00.000+11:00

Girls who have been reading my blog and have found it boring. I have just added a new section of links on the right column of my blog. It's called Shopholic Haven. I'll have to work on the title i know, but meanwhile if ever you are in dire need of fashion advice or inspiration, i found those webbies extremely helpful. I always hang out at those sites.. times flies when you look through them.

Boys, if you think that you've got girls fashion all figured out, check the sites out first before saying that. Haha! Anyways, i've got to complete my finance tute questions. Yay! I can finally put my finance calc skills to the test! Toodles!

monday blues now a whiter shade of blue

2006-03-13T19:06:00.000+11:00

I used to dread uni on mondays.. now that i have ferry jie as my business stats tutor, i no longer find monday the worst day of the week. I'll have to do something about tues.. I'm beginning to hate tuesday. Its not the classes i hate, i really hate my 2 hour gap from 2-4pm. None of my friends are at uni and not many of them would be online. Which leaves me with really nothing to do. The temptation to skip my cost management systems lecture is very very high.

Brought SuZen and Robee out to the korean place for lunch. We all had bbq beef ribs. Mmmm... it was sensational~ I love my mondays with these guys. There might be a new romance blossoming before my eyes. Robee and Su... who would have thought. I've known them since last november and always thought they were kind of close. But they've extremely close since last week. It's cool how he's so nice to her. The advantage i get here is whenever i tease him, he can no longer retaliate yay! Tash was in the group meeting in spirit. I wonder what happened to her today. She's missed both the tute and lecture, leaving the 3 of us to fend for ourselves. Lucky for us, Su's an absolute excel genius. We managed to make up our spreadsheet within 5 minutes. Robee should be soo lucky to have her. I'd die to have her excel skills. I do accounting and i still suck at excel. bleah.

anyways i figured whenever we email tash, its a funny email... i'll post this week's one here:

helloooooooooo Tashie,

here's a copy of what we've done for the BIA Assignment - Lecture 2. we still need to work on the 'ogive' bit of the question 2 of lec.2.

Announcment to Tash: You've missed out on Korean and ice- cream... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **dramatic face** Ferry Jie sends his love to you too. He said he'll give you his all if you ask for it. **wiggle eyebrows** HEHEHEHEHE robee already got a piece of it................... =| we're all jealous

anyways, c u nxt week!

luv, jaclyn, robee, su zen, and ferry jieeeeee who was in da house =)

bowling or chinese bowls?

2006-03-12T23:40:00.000+11:00

I've made my choice once again. Lol i chose food over bowling. For a very good reason though, Harry had planned to take me bowling today. I was quite excited about it initially but the minute we saw all the professional bowlers when we walked into the sliders alley, my jaw literally fell and i was gobsmacked by the amount of bowling talents. A tournament must have been on. Me, not being a professional bowler had still a tinsywinsy bit of asian pride. Enough to not be able to embarrass myself in front of professional bowlers. I can be very self conscious at times when it comes to sports. Bowling has never really been my forte. We went shopping instead and it was followed by chinese food. Hence the subject title. Yes, we used rice bowls... Was going to play pool but i guess i got caught up in shopping - what jackie does best after all. Must make a date with him to play pool. Poor boy had to follow me around. My mistake truly. Anyways, i still have to make up my to do list... so ardios.

Crave @ Space

2006-03-11T21:56:00.000+11:00

The 3rd semester MASA (Malaysian Students Society) party runned by dear Edwin Lai is on again ... This time its called Crave, at Space 24th March 06. Something that almost every malaysian kiddo is waiting for. I usually attend all the MASA events, but this time i might just give it a miss. I've lost all respect for Edwin. Pity really, i really was going to join the society this year and run for Public Relations Officer seeing how much Edward the Prez of the society wanted me to be part of his team. I reckon I'd make an awesome person and pull loads of people malaysian and non malaysian but still asian looking into the society. There is an incredible lack of follow up and i have no idea what Edwin is doing really. For the past 2 years, i've been lead to think that he's been a real friend and tells me the truth about things. But the guy's changed and my more recent girlfriends in uni actually know him from way back. Quite a coincidence really, Kath and Edwin had been classmates back in Taylors College in Malaysia. She warned me about him for ages and i never listened. Now i know where's she coming from. Looking back now, Edwin has been quite a bastard to his current girlfriend. Hell, he's been awful to all his ex's. Suddenly i felt the need to stay away from him. He has a bad attitude towards people who don't agree with him and he tends to call his own shots. Oh well, i'm saying goodbye to the times we hung out in the library studying... we haven't done that in a year. Hehe, there used to be a period of time where people taught we were going out lucky for me its been made clear nothing happened between the two of us. I wouldn't want sex rumours and scandal floating around the malaysian community in UTS - such a big uni yet soo small.

the adorable smile has just lost its winning factor...

pictures from nat's birthday

2006-03-11T21:43:00.000+11:00

Nat and Steph

Ann

Steph

altogether now ^_^

lil rascals almost caught in the act

2006-03-11T21:27:00.000+11:00

I had coffee with Harry last night:) He's been trying different cafe drinks lately. He used to be a flat-white-holic, now he finally learns to embrace change. There is one good thing about aussie cafes. We don't just have coffee... we have a variety of them. A regular coffee menu would usually have your cappucino, mocha, espresso, cafe latte, vienna, flat white, macchiato, ice coffee, ice chocolate, frappes and your plain old good black coffee for the caffeine boost addicts. Wenkai is probably the only other guy i know that can't live without coffee and goes cold turkey without it. I still remember the time where he brought coffee candy into his army camp for fear that they wouldn't provide coffee. Who needs the hot milo crap when you're facing 34 degree humid heat in singapore when you can have a beautifully roasted coffee tasting hard candy? Simply makes your day doesn't it? Lol. Anyways, will try not to deviate from the main topic but more about my best coffee experience of the week... Gallitano's cafe (i think that's what it's called) makes the best cafe mocha in Sydney. Its like cafe latte smooth and creamy but chocolate flavoured. Just the type of drink you need after a hard day of shopping. I was shopping for mia's gift at kookai. Got her a cute black button up cami with a middle scrunch. Bought myself 2 tops after lol Harry asked who's birthday it was again.. lol made me feel guilty about my spending again. Tsktsk really have to cut back if i want the finer things in life ie, my apple laptop and ticket to singapore:) Yes people in singapore. Jackie's coming back for sure!!! Its granny's 80th birthday. I can almost swear on the Bible but i shan't cos' its not right. I will definitely need ideas for her birthday gift. Ideas anyone?

Alright, so Harry drives me home last night and we got chatting outside the main gates of my townhouse. You guys have been to my place so you should roughly understand where i mean. I tickled Harry first and he was going to retaliate when the cops pulled over and asked me if everything was fine... Of course they thought i was being harrassed or mistreated by the boy. Lol I love how the law protects the girls usually. So that's my first taste of law enforcement. Pretty cool huh?

quote of the day~

2006-03-09T21:39:00.000+11:00

" Stop Truth Decay, Brush up on your Bible "

Isn't it cute? Well maybe not that cute.. more like lame. But i like lame jokes, as most of my friends would know by now. I'm probably the only girl who laughs at lame jokes. I'm easily amused. What can i say?

So I was thinking for the past week how blessed I've been this year. 2006 didn't not start out on the best note, but it got more melodic as the days passed. And although my inimate little 20th party seemed a little gloomy, God had a greater gift waiting for me. And i have nic and Him to thank for. I met Harry. It's such a pity my name isn't sally. Or I'd think its a sign!

Things aren't going soo good now. I can't blame the way he's feeling now. Oh well, i shan't delve into the nitty gritty bits of what's happening now. Things between my friend and Harry's friend have gotten slightly out of control. It seems like the more we try to help nicola, the worse things get. As the chinese saying goes, "yue bang yue mang". That about sums it up:)

Yesterday was Steph's birthday. It was held at a Spanish restaurant. It was a new experience for all of us who've attended. Good ambience but food not so. Harry and i gave it a 4/10. Yeah, i highly doubt any of us would be coming anywhere near that place in the future. I missed Patty loads and loads yesterday. Things just aren't the same without her. Together, we made dinners fun. We would come up with the best jokes and finish each others lines... I can't wait for next january when she comes back from san fransico. Hopefully she's having a ball in the states.

daze-ja-vu

2006-03-07T22:08:00.000+11:00

so it seems that even my best friend is feeling under the weather and won't tell me why. Damn nicola. She said something about not hearing from rob(a guy she likes from uni) anymore. I asked what happened and she would not say. I'm supposed to write an email to her and i have to now explain to jack why nic isn't picking up his phone calls. Damn that mia too. Jack called and nicola hangs up on him. Mia calls him back asking for Sam saying she was sarah. Now Jack's online asking what the hell's going on? And why i gave him the wrong number and how i can go on and on about how nic's my best friend when i can't even get her cell number right. And he's in my bloody accounting lecture too. Trust me even in a lecture crowd of 500+, its hard to avoid one person you really don't want to deal with. I'm biting my nails trying to figure out what to say to him.... good luck to me.

ancient history

2006-03-07T19:31:00.000+11:00

Feeling a little down now. Don't know why, can't seem to put my finger on it. I visited the crash site near central station. Twas' pretty damn horrific. Remnants of the car were left behind for further police inspection as if serving as a constant reminder to sydney sider commuters that driving may not be your best option after all. It was a very depressing sight. The newsreader lady on channel 9 explained that the man had accelerated on reverse gear and flew out from the 3rd storey of the car park. Within milliseconds, questions flooded my mind. Was the guy on drugs? Was he drunk? Was he trying to impress a chick? Was he remotely senile? I don't know which idiot would accelerate when getting out of a parking spot. Oh well, idiots like them are bound to exist and roam the earth. God only knows my next door neighbour could even be a serial cross dresser that attended the mardi gras last week.

Had classes from 9 till 5 today, and I haven't been feeling too well the whole day. Probably that contributed to my moodswing. I was over the moon last night after my phone conversation with Harry. But since the clock struck 1 today.. i was a little over uni. Actually, to be more exact, i was very over business finance. I've forgotten how business lecturers treat their students. Everything is taught soo slowly and succinctly that it gives us no opportunity to use our brain. Whereas law lectures don't even give you the chance to rest your mind. The stark contrast between business and law school... oh well.

I sold my law book today to this really cute law student from UNSW. He seemed to be Nic's type. Very eloquent and patient. I was late you see and he didn't seem to care. He sat there reading the financial times. We talked for a bit and i managed to get some details of him, he lives in cronulla and is currently doing a medical science and law degree but also had interests in the business sector, hence the finanicial paper. Is it just me or does it seem like aussie law students who combine their degree with another course always sounds better than straight law students? And somehow, each one has a unique blend of interests. Take Mia's Alex for example, he's got the looks and does a environmental science with law. See how great he sounds already? You don't even have to look at that guy and he already sounds like a great catch. Its not the same for girls though, it seems like my course turns guys off. Very often, i'd come across a really keen guy in class who'd sit next to me and talk... but the minute he's aware that i do business AND law, he loses interests. Its very unfair. I know how nic feels now. People already hate people in law, and she had to do journalism as well.. the second most hated profession. Lol.

I'm starting to feel old now. Seem to be rambling today. And about what? Just how i'm feeling blue for utterly no reason.

I'm trying to make myself excited about tomorrow. It's steph's 21st~! I get to dine at a new restaurant and i get to spend an evening with Harry:) Things are looking up already lol. Hopefully he wouldn't be outnumbered once again like the last time we had yumcha with nic and mia.

Question, what to get for mia's birthday? Suggestions anyone? Tips... she's a label shopaholic, loves pink and alex, sings and plays soccer.

Uni hits you in the face

2006-03-06T21:41:00.000+11:00

We're heading into the second week of uni~ yes... it's that time of the year again. UTS fever. Can't complain about my subjects this year. I got into all my planned classes which (thumbs up) is a great thing! God bless the UTS online enrolment system. I watched nic stress over my poor Scott(my laptop) because she logged on 5 minutes too late. She didn't manage to get into any of the classes that she planned to enter. YOu can tell when Nic's really pissed. When she starts screaming "piss off" to her nicest friend (me lol) and snatches your computer away from you, that's when you know to stop talking and start staring at the ceiling twiddling your thumbs.

So 2006 has been quite a blast so far. I've finally turned the big 2-0, feeling quite old now that i've hit the second decade. Nic's pumped about being 19. And all my other good friends turn 21 this month. It's been a fun year thus far i just hope it stays that way:)

As some of you may have noticed... I've sound a lot more bubblier on msn. A few reasons as to why i sound like a mad clapping monkey this past week would be all thanks to him and also all my friends in my classes this year. I have my ex housemate felicity in my finance class, mel, steph and ann in my cost management systems class, hui and amy in my accounting for business combi class and best of all robert, tash and su zen in my biz stats class. Tell you what... things just couldn't get any better.

In case you guys are wondering who "he" is... he's a lot nicer, cuter, charming, sweeter, considerate, funnier than rosh. Gosh.. he's just better than him in every possible way. And i'm mighty glad i found him:) *smiling away like a goof*

Here's a really cute message to tash from rob and su zen - my uber cute, uber sweet stats classmates... I saw it and i had to post it up! We had a group meeting today but tash couldn't make it so here goes...

Hey Tash!,

here's wat we've started thinking about for the BIA group assignment (YES
you are in our group :P~). could you look over it (first 2 questions) and
add any ideas? we're just spooling ideas at the moment =) see ya nxt monday
(well, robee sees you tomorow)..

Btw, u can also try summarise our ideas for us in report format if it isnt
too much trouble ;P (only cos robee's a lazy ass....lazy sheep's ass)

luv, robee, jaclyn & su zen =D

All rob's doing... he reckons he looks like mozart. Isn't he a darling? I remember the first time he told me that... i was laughing like there was no tomorrow. If laughing causes wrinkles like people say, i'd look like an old prune by now. LOL!

If only my life was more like 1994

2006-02-24T12:10:00.000+11:00

So the party was a blast still even though the turnout wasn't as huge as we would have liked but its was good fun all in all. I finally got to meet most of nicola's friends from uni and work. Funny how i always hear about them and never got to meet them in person. Its almost like i know them without having met them. Also met some fellow law students from uws- Tijana, Harry and Rob. They were certainly an entertaining bunch. Tijana being the smart cookie, Harry who nic oftens refers to as the joker, and Rob the "i love NY' tee guy.

Oh, and to top it off- its the end of orientation week at uts!! yes! It was such a drag taking the freshmen around campus and giving them the low down on survival in uni. Law students are such spocks man when it comes to assignment. Throughout the week, all they can ask about is plagiarism, projects and about the level of difficulty in law assignments. Sigh.. reminded me of me when i first started. Poor kids will soon learn that grades aren't everything - shopping is. HAHAH! jokes aside, grades aren't really everything. I think being an all rounder is definitely more of an asset. A combination of communication skills, leadership skill, teamplaying skills as well as interpersonal relationship skill will take you very far.

To peili: If you ever need help with your resume or cv, call or email me whenever. I'll keep a lookout on teaching positions here.

A love observed

2006-02-05T23:14:00.000+11:00

Inspired by my quiet time with God and C.S. Lewis.

Over the past few days I have revisited a few special places, both geographically and within the depths of my own soul. Much time and energy was spent writing, reflecting, even comtemplating. All this thought and energy, with the writings of C.S. Lewis as a midwife, finally culminated in the vibrant birth of a certain understanding. It is my humble and sincere hope that these thoughts would edify others as it did me.

The last few days were spent studying Love in a detatched manner (i'll admit that absolute detatchment is probably impossible, but utmost effort was used to observe Love as an object) and i realise that the old adage that "Love is more than just feelings" is very true, but perhaps not as how most people of today would interpret it. I dont know about you, but personally when this phrase is spoken to me, it feels as if the speaker is trying to convey the message of how the feelings of love may be important, but let us not forget the financial or the social status aspect that should be considered before proclaiming a feeling as love. This is all very... practical? very Singaporean in fact, but perhaps when the original genius who came up with this phrase meant something other than the material aspects of love that should apparently be considered before pronouncing this emotion before the world through marriage.

I think love is more than just feelings in that there are perhaps three other things that must be considered together with the feeling before one can ordaine the feeling as Love. First that it is a gift, which in turn leads unavoidably to vulnerability and lastly that love is a constant.

First, Love is a gift. I think many of us already accept this point, that love is a total giving of oneself to the other. the mind is saturated with the thought of the other, ones desire is solely for the other and ones actions are entirely made for the evoking of happiness in the other person. Many of us would also agree that love is a gift in that just like a physical gift, the gift of love can be rejected. this i will elaborate further, but let us first agree that love is a gift in two aspects. That first it is the willing submission of one's will, soul and body to the happiness and protection of another and second that as precious as this gift is, it requires the acceptance of the other. As i believe that many would agree with this point and have seen and understood this aspect of Love, i see little reason to elaborate further, so let us continue with the next apparent aspect of Love.

When we consider how love can be rejected, we realise that love is the exposure of a vulnerability of one person to the other. it is to risk hurt by showing the little hole in the armor, that we all wear to shield us from this hateful world, to the significant other. the pain of rejection or scorn is like a sword being plunged into that soft, exposed spot. The vulnerability of Love however does not merely encompass all that. It also includes the possibility of a rending of that love should it be allowed to blossom and grow. fulfilled love can be likened to the feelings of a begger hungrily yearns and aches for food to fill his desperate tummy that is brought before the most incredible feast that could be prepared for a man. but the rending of that love can be perhaps understood most vividly when we consider again the beggar who has seen and tasted this magnificent banquet is grabbed and forced away from it before savouring all of the feast in its entirety.

When we are in love, when love blossoms and is returned, we risk the possibility of loss through death or circumstance. When one's world is intricately knit together with the world of another, a storm in one is a storm for both. The death of one would be the cause of much despair for the other. As C.S. Lewis writes about the loss of his wife, "I look up at the night sky. Is anything more certain than that in all those vast times and space, If I were allowed to search them, I should nowhere find her face, her voice, her touch?" yet despite not being able to see her evermore he continues and finishes with this, "But her voice is still vivid. The Remembered Voice - That can turn me at any moment to a whimpering child."

Love blossomed and nurtured opens us up to more hurt. When memories and made, moments are shared and lives intertwined, the end of this beautiful thing called love would be devastation beyond reckoning. When we consider this and realise what we are opening ourselves to when we say we love another, then perhaps ones words would have all the more meaning. That "I Love You" would also mean "i would risk any hurt just to have you with me".

Lastly, Love is a constant. I do not mean this in terms of a math equation, rather that love has to be alive and present for it to be called love. In this i mean that love has to be shared equally. Think of love as a path and how two individuals must walk down that path together, physically, mentally and spiritually - almost as if they were "One Flesh". love cannot be nurtured when one is in the drivers seat and the other in the passenger seat, both of them should be holding the wheel and steering to a common direction.

When i call it a constant, i also mean the constant basking in the presence of one another. that sufficient time must be spent together. and here again i do not mean mere physcial space, but an intimate sharing and baring of mind, soul and body. this togetherness allows for the shattering of any apparent illusions that the mind has conjured up. it destroyed the embellishments that memory tends to create for the significant other. with the real person standing in front of you and when you bask in her presence, you are smacked in the face with the real facts about her, the bare facts of her that you have come to love and hold so dear.

I quote C.S Lewis again when he describes their bond, "Time and space and body were the very things that brought us together; the telephone wires by which we communicated." of course this is in the context of his wife's passing, but if we consider this, and we realise that if any one of these things were to be gone, our love would be meaningless. and thus, when we are given the Time and the Space, let us truly share our bodies, not in a sexual sense, but in the sense that is to say our minds and our souls that this "one flesh" fantasy might actually become reality.

And thus when we understand the depth and amount of time and energy required for love and again are willing to undertake the task, then the simple words of "I love you" becomes all the more beautiful and meaningful.

When we consider all three things, that love is a gift, the exposure of ones vulnerability and demands constancy, and when we are finally willing to give all that to another, then I say we are in love!

Homely affairs

2006-01-26T19:39:00.000+11:00

The magnificent view from my kitchen. God's divine creation so wonderfully captured.

Samson at 1 yr and 4 mths...

persian party friday night

2006-01-26T19:33:00.000+11:00

Eunice- my 2IC and her boyfriend Isaac. Belly dancer was trying to get him to belly dance and boy was he good at it. Even as a greenhorn.

the barbie figure is my manager. she looks hot for her age - 41.
just a few pics for now.

Dinner at Hurricanes from ages ago...

2006-01-26T18:45:00.000+11:00

The food.... mmmmm

Steph and me~ Isn't she yummy?

That's natalie and me... we had similar necklaces on and people have said we look like sisters? Go figure.

stephieee~~~ wee she's the new babelicious in the crew.

all together now:)

crap

2006-01-26T18:39:00.000+11:00

Met up with carl today, he cracked me up today when Andrew pissed him off. I forgot what he said to make carl so mad but it was what Carl said that cracked me up:)

Carl:

I don't give a shit, I don't take shit, I'm not in the shit business!

Ok so its very crude, but it was funny.

Father Christmas Part 2

2006-01-25T22:51:00.000+11:00

He came! He came! My darling paddington is sitting just beside me now and i still can't get over the fact that i now own a genuine chloe... its smells wonderful of leather and i just wanna hug it all day long:) Couldn't be any happier, been shopping for a designer bag for sooo long and i think i've made the right choice.

Spoilt myself enough this christmas, and well for the month of january. I'm trying to save for saba winter wear. Just got the 411 on saba uniform allowance. Although we casual staff get a whopping 300 bucks on saba couture, we can't buy anything we want with it. There is actually a list stating the garments we're limited to. And just to piss us off, we can never purchase anything black or white with it. We're only limited to seasonal colours?? Hello? Doesn't anyone know that black and white is IN for every season? Sure, you'll have the other occasional neutral colours like grey or pale/pastel like colours. But i look super great in white or black as does everyone else. Sigh, do they want us to sell clothes or not?!

Big news for Australia Day, dad's shopping for his new work car cos his current one has been vandalized. You wouldn't believe what happened to it. The day dad and i went to pick the car up from the car park, we found the car being broken into, seats and dashboard being cut up and wheels(whole bloody thing) were taken off. The car literally sat on its battery box i think. Balanced right its middle point. It was such a sorry sight. I couldn't come to terms with what's happened. I couldn't blink and after a while dad and i started laughing at it. Dad was totally happy with it. The car was already a piece of junk and writing it off would probably be the best thing. Insurance company's assessor assessed the condition of the car and decided it to be so and here we are, going to the various car dealerships tomorrow to shop for a spanking new ute for his work. Yay! I can finally get my car back. I've missed my car soo much. Public transportation and begging friends for rides home have been such a pain:(

He'll come bearing gifts...

2006-01-25T10:29:00.000+11:00

In recent days, I have ordered myself a white chloe paddington bag from the chloe catalog. I've just checked the tracking number and it says that the bag is on its way to my humble abode!! It's tres exciting. Sorry must sound like an absolute blonde here, but as you would all know my now, i go weak for bags. Not so much shoes, but bags are my weakest point. If you had a chance to come by my room, you'll see the amount of bags i have... 2 boxes full. It's crazy~ Anyways, the courier's coming today and i just can't wait!

Oppsie, samson's by my side - feeling a tad neglected. Time to feed my lil' mongruel~ ciao!

Mum's the word

2006-01-24T17:45:00.000+11:00

Mum's the word.

Fact 1: I am a major fan of Mandy Moore.
Fact 2: Stalker
Okay, not many people know this but i love love love mandy moore and i still love listening to "candy" on my car stereo. I don't boom box it but its loud enough to hear it vibrate through ur head.

As for Fact 2: For the past 2 days, only one name stayed in my head. David. It's almost like i'm infatuated with his name or something. I've only ever met him once and only for a mere 20 mins during lunch break. 2 months ago, he sat on my table and we talked about our backgrounds and what it means to be a full fledged christian and a "halfling" christian. That conversation never got a proper ending as my break concluded 10 mins before his. He nevertheless left a lasting impression and i thought i'd never get to hear or see him again despite his fleeting comment that he'd drop by my work just before he goes back to his. I never did see him but apparently I was missing out on something. I had another stalker. Unknown to me, he's actually made himself acquainted with the saba staff and has become the talk of my boutique - well just the city David Jones Saba branches. He's been probing for my name and roster and has made several appearances at my store. Of course I wasn't aware of it until 2 days ago when the "rumour" has finally got out. Virg, my gayest colleague finally strolls into my store and blurts this out.

New stock just came into Saba! It is gorgeous:) Anyways, gotta scoot. Mum's beckoning me for dinner already:) Can't wait - i'm starving. Havent eaten since my trip to the dentist this morning.

The January Files

2006-01-23T13:44:00.000+11:00

Yay~ a new blog once again! Sorry to trouble all my friends to change their links to my page once again. BUT, i can assure you that there is really nothing to worry about. It's not like i change my blog every week. Its more of a yearly affair. Lol:)

So, let's review what has happened in the month of January '06 thus far.

Things that have happened on:

First week

- The christmas sale is still on from '05, but business has slowed down considerably. I'd hate to see the customers faces when they open the mailbox to see their friggin's large credit bill greeting them.
- My bestest coffee-drinking-buddy-colleague has left for her 2 month trip to Korea and the US. Lucky lucky - i begged her to bring home a bag full of my favourite teriyaki flavoured beef jerky. Oh- the smell~ i drool just thinking about it. It's truly an gastronomic delight - I kid you not. Go try it for urself!
- I have just spent another 270 bucks on my Saba clothes. It's truly amazing how loyal I am to my company. It's almost all i ever wear the past few months. But its soo beautiful.
- Made shitloads of money in the holidays but can't seem see them in my bank account. Darn those saba couture!
- Made tons of new friends at work from all different boutiques including marcs, review, veronika maine, sass and bides, ralph lauren, polo and many many more! We're all sharing our staff discount now. Lol... so so crucial~

Second Week

-Cut down my spending so i can now see my pay accummulating in the bank account. Now i can buy a ticket to fly back home to sunny singapore. But, i have to save up for other things first. Like the powerbook, new lounge for my bedroom, chip in for my tuition fees and for the new plasma tv and cable tv about to be installed in my home. Dad thinks i am now mature enough to help out financially. In only he believed otherwise that i'm still a young punk and squander away money shamelessly on haute couture. IF ONLY!
- Went to a persian party. Learnt some belly dancing and ate persian cuisine. Didn't like any part of the party. Everything from the eating part to the dancing part were too darn hard to accept and do. The food was hard to swallow. It was either too dry or too weird. I drowned myself with cups and cups of H2O to rid my mouth of the taste. Aww...yuck. And worst of all, someone tell me how on earth to dance to persian techno??? Why did we have a persian DJ in the restaurant? I thought it was going to be a family kind of restaurant where everything was pleasant. I guess i'm way too chinese to accept the persian culture. But at least i like persian people. They're hospitable and friendly and are great dancers! Will post the pics up as soon as i get them off my colleagues.

Third Week
That's this week. Which i will post a new entry for later.